We need to learn how to trust each other again. Right now, it’s easy to feel lost at sea. There is so much to be afraid of wars raging across the globe, democracy and liberty are slipping away, the far right is on the ascent in most of the ‘West’, and the looming spectre of climate catastrophe is drawing closer – arguably, it’s already here. Amidst the chaos and the fear, it’s understandable we want to retreat inward, not just to hide but to keep others out and keep ourselves safe. But I think that would be a mistake. If we want to change the world, we need to reach outward, even if it means being vulnerable or uncertain.
A lot of us sit at different, intersecting points of marginalisation and exploitation. We’ve been hurt, traumatised and understandably we want to be around people we know are okay and safe. I don’t want to tell anyone that’s wrong, or put the responsibility and obligation on those with real pain to risk being hurt again, or pull themselves apart trying to be kind. That said, I do think any of us who want to get really serious about making things better need to be a bit more willing to trust and reach out. Those who are hurting don’t have responsibility to reach out to people they can’t trust, but if your pain means you can’t step outside into the larger world for fear of safety, there may be other steps to take. There might be healing to do before you’re ready to go to the front – or other parts of the work you can do from where you are, because salvaging what’s good out of our broken systems is going to take all of us, contributing in all our beautiful ways.
From Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, to the Rainbow Coalition of Fred Hampton, resistance to unjust power takes cooperation. Source: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Alliance_High_Command.
I want to stress how vulnerable we all are to isolating ourselves in fear and distrust. If all we see is our own, individual mistreatment or that of the people just like us, we’ll miss opportunities for allies and cooperation. So many systems that marginalise people ultimately harm and victimise the very people they apparently uplift, along with the people they hurt. When we lean too deeply into our marginalisations, we divide our communities into smaller and smaller groups, and too often we fight each other as much as we do the systems which marginalise us. All our experiences are unique, and valid, but our validation shouldn’t come at the expense of unity against the things that hurt and constrict everyone. When we lose trust, we end up fighting for spots in a sinking boat, while the people who put the holes in it sail merrily away.
If we want to build a better future, we need to understand the situation we’re in. The Powers of our time have Money, have Allies, have – well, Power. What we have, is each other. If we don’t trust each other and work together, we’re doing their work for them. We’re disarming and dis-empowering ourselves. The good news is, each other is all we really need.
We need to work together to avoid sinking in the waters. Source: Teaspoon.
How do we build back trust? That’s a thorny question. I think in the end, it takes humility and grace. We need to respect ourselves and each other enough to call out, and be called out. We need the grace to accept responsibility and learn, and the mercy to forgive as readily as we critique. I know people say trust is earned, but I don’t like that idea. Trust is given, in moments of exposed hope and love. The reality of intersectional marginalisation is that, more often than not, when we look at each other we’ll see ways someone else is privileged or advantaged. This is something we should be aware of when we speak and platform and act, but it doesn’t mean we’re not still on the same side of the fight. If we keep fighting and especially if we start to win, we’re going to have a bigger coalition with more people, including people we used to see on the other side. Trusting them will be even harder, but it’s something we need to be able to do.
Trust is a gift we can only give when we’re in a healthy and safe place. This is true both personally and communally, and we should do the work to put ourselves in such spots – we can’t make the world better if we live in fear, or in resentment. Obviously, many places like these exist, and we should be out there finding them and using them. We also need to step out of those places once we are healthy and safe, and start finding and connecting to each other. If we stay on our little islands in the raging sea, sooner or later the waters will rise and swallow everything up. We have to reach out, be vulnerable and open to change and something new. It’s in those moments we can gift trust to one another, and in that trust work together, overcome the anxiety of being alone in the fight, and begin the immense work of creating the better future. I think that process has already begun, as more of us see the fight around the world and connect it to the fight at home. We have to keep our spirits high and our hearts open, or we’ll miss this opportunity. I don’t want that to happen.
The Teaspoon
The Teaspoon Brigade 
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